i looked for God

I looked for God this year. I found Him in the breathtaking coast of the Pacific Northwest, the smile of my godson, the matchless feeling of being believed in, and the beautiful liturgy of Communion.

I saw Him in friends who journey with me for the long haul, from mourning with me when I mourn all the way to rejoicing with me when I rejoice... and back again.

I found Him in the the tear-stained pillowcase of a broken heart. And in the stomach-hurts-can't-breathe laughter of pure joy.

I saw Him in the glimmers of hope awakened in my heart, the generosity of friends acting as His hands of provision, and the signs of autumn promising me that this season is drawing to a close.

I looked for God this year.

I saw Him in gifts given and taken away... In endings and beginnings, doors closing and opening, friendships starting and ceasing.

I found Him in the life and death of one of His beloved servants.

I saw Him in the small minutia of my every day, discovering again how much He cares about my small things.

I found Him in pain-ridden arms held high, music that steals my breath and draws my heart ever closer to Him, and a candlelit gymnasium cathedral on Christmas Eve.

I saw Him in my own desperate need for grace.

I looked for God this year.

And looking will remain my lifelong journey...

one word 2012

I have had so many incredible conversations about One Word over the past few weeks. I love hearing and reading about people's journeys this past year and how God's used their word to shape their life. A. Ma. Zing.

If you write a year-end post, make sure you come back here to link up. (Which reminds me... I still need to write mine!)

I'm working on a new website for One Word 2012... I'm so sorry I haven't rolled it out yet. I'd hoped to, but... well... technical and schedule difficulties prevailed...

In the meantime, start thinking about your word for next year.

And have an amazing Christmas, my friends.

God is with us!

perspective changer

I struggle with jealousy more than I'd like to admit.

I want to be the friend who gets the call first. The one who's told the big/important/great/awful news first. I want to be somebody's somebody. Their best, favorite, whatever...

And He is jealous for me...

I find myself feeling hurt when I'm left out or disregarded, or when I realize a relationship isn't as close as I thought it was. I want to feel like others are pursuing and investing in friendship as much as I am.

And He is jealous for me...

I see what others have — in things, in strengths, in relationships, in ministry, in influence, in personality — and I secretly wish I had them too.

And He is jealous for me...

I look back over a lifetime of living in others' shadows. And while I actually prefer not being the one in the spotlight, I realize how often it's left me feeling invisible. And how much I long to simply be seen.

And He is jealous for me...

My heart is filled with jealousy... Over things and people and callings and opportunities.

And He is jealous for me...

He.

Is jealous.

For me.

the treasure of Christ

You know all of Jesus' "the Kingdom of heaven is like..." talks? I've heard them a lot, so sometimes I stop hearing them. But the other day I heard one of them with new ears. I was reading about the guy who found the treasure in the field.

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field."

I've read that passage quite a few times in my life, but this time I saw something I'd never seen before. The man found the treasure and then hid it again. For the first time, I asked myself why he didn't just take it.

Selling his stuff and buying the field proved the value the treasure held for him.

It was worth more than petty larceny. It was worth all he had, and his actions demonstrated that.

Yes, he could have just pocketed the treasure, walked off with it and no one would have known. But he decided it was worth more than that.

Worth so much, in fact, that he hid it again, went and sold all his belongings, and then came back and bought the field.

He didn't buy the field for the field's sake. He bought it for the sake of the treasure.

The field had value only because of the treasure it held.

And I have value because of the treasure I hold---Christ in me, the hope of glory.

The treasure of Christ is freely mine for the taking, but if I truly value that gift, I will sacrifice to lay hold of it. To lay hold of Him.

Too many days I just pocket the Treasure. Or worse, I leave it buried.

I want my life to show the value I place on the Treasure that is Christ.

thankful for different

One of the things I love most about living in Nashville is the sheer amount of creativity that resides here. Seriously. Everyone seems to be oozing with talent and giftedness.

The most obvious are the musicians, of which there are many. And they have more musical talent in their pinky fingers than I have in my whole body. I absolutely love and appreciate good music, so it's incredible to live somewhere where there's always good music to be found.

But the creative genius in this city spreads much wider than the music industry.

Writers. Speakers. Artists. Photographers.

I've witnessed creative parenting. Cooking. Blogging. Couponing (mm-hmm, you read that right).

All creative story-tellers and story-makers in their own unique ways.

I am so thankful for the opportunity to interact with people who are very different from me. I thrive on conversations that stretch my thinking and my natural bent.

I've had access to a friend's car for the past few weeks, so I've purposefully filled my days with people. Friends, old and new. Creatives in diversely unique areas. Conversations that leave me thinking for days afterward.

I've sought out awkward and uncomfortable situations (for this introvert) because they challenge me in good ways. In the words of my friend Blaine Hogan, "Awkwardness creates space for us to transform into better versions of ourselves if we let it." So I've been intentional about spending time in new places, uncommon situations, and with people who differ greatly from me.

And it leaves me feeling overwhelmingly grateful. For creative differences. For opportunities. For people who see and embrace me for me.

I'm thankful for different.

Because different keeps me from staying stuck in same.

What's something uncomfortable that you can intentionally pursue this week?