be present

I'm an extroverted introvert. But I'm still an introvert.

And this introvert? Is tired.

I just spent a couple days with 13,000 leaders at Catalyst in Atlanta. That's a whole lotta people time for someone like me.

But this was my 5th Catalyst experience. I love every minute of them. And this one was no exception.

Even though it leaves this introvert completely exhausted.

In fact, I took naps this time. Yes, I am that old. Or that... something. But both days at Catalyst, I found a way to slip away and take a nap.

On Friday, my friend Tracee and I cut out of a freezing cold session to warm up in the sun. In a hammock. And we fell asleep.

We found out later from a friend that eventually the session let out and thousands of people milled around us. And we didn't wake up... Even worse, hundreds of people lined up for a book signing right near our hammock. Literally, people lined both sides of us, waiting to get their books signed. And we slept through the entire thing.

We were cashed out!

So, um, if you were there... and took a picture of the crazy-hammock-sleeping girls... please let me know. And send me whatever awful pictures you took!

But seriously... naps and all, Catalyst was great.

As always, the hallway conversations were one of my favorite parts. I love the opportunities to connect with so many amazing people. The one-on-one and small group intteractions that just kind of erupt in hallways, on the lawn, over late-night drinks, at the Bloggers Meetup.... yeah... I love that.

The theme this year was Be Present. Such a good reminder for me in so many ways.

Remember my One Word?

Look?

Well, I haven't been looking as much as I should be...

All the challenges to be fully present were basically challenges to look.

To look around -- at what He's doing all around me all the time. To look up -- pressing in to Him as my only source of strength. To look in -- and not miss what He wants to do in me right this very moment. To look at those He's placed beside me -- to not miss the aspects of His heart that He shows me through His people.

Be present.

Look.

And... as needed...

Nap.

What does it mean to you to "be present"?

always and always, fritz

My friend Sara was affectionately known as Gitzen Girl -- a nickname coined by her dad (who I am so thankful to have spent some time with before he passed last year). Everyone knew her as Gitz.

But to me, she was Fritz.

She was Fritz. And I was Frass. (Short for Sassafrass, of course...)

And this Frass? Misses her Fritz like crazy...

Ohmyheart...

When I was asked to speak at Sara's memorial service, it felt like an incredible gift had been placed in my hands. One I held gently and tenderly. An honor I didn't take lightly.

I didn't want to speak about our history or friendship, although I could've talked for hours on that alone. I wanted to somehow try to capture and express Sara's amazing heart and the incredible way she lived her life. I wanted to explain what Choose Joy meant to her, as so many have picked it up as their own life mantra. I wanted to paint a picture of who Sara really is...

I hope my feeble attempt to find adequate words achieved that even in the slightest possible way...

Here are the words I shared at her service...

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There are so many things I could say about my sweet Sara. So many that I don’t even know where to start. Or harder still, I wouldn’t even know where to stop. She has been one of the greatest gifts in my life, and her friendship has truly changed me. Forever.

And I know many---literally around the world---can say the exact same thing about her.

It is absolutely mind-blowing to think of how far-reaching Sara’s impact has been. From the tiny confines of her condo in Iowa, her life and love wrapped around the globe.

Because of her illnesses, her way of life had to change. But her way of living didn’t.

Sara continued to live well. To love deeply. To trust God unswervingly. She continued to choose joy. To love Jesus passionately. And to run her race well... All the way to the end.

Through her words, Sara shared her faith and her heart so genuinely and authentically. Sara was real. Velveteen Rabbit kind of real. And in her realness, she made it easy for us to be real in return. Real with ourselves... With others... With God.

And in that place of threadbare honesty, she challenged us to choose joy.

Choose joy.

Those two words ran deep for Sara. They weren’t just a pick-me-up statement... Those words truly shaped her life.

Sara taught me that choosing joy doesn’t mean living in denial of reality. It doesn’t mean pretending everything is okay when it’s not. It doesn’t mean not allowing ourselves to grieve or acknowledge our own heartaches in life.

It means being honest and authentic with where we are... And from that place, still lifting our eyes Homeward.

Choosing joy is acknowledging that while I don’t understand what’s going on, God does. Choosing joy is remembering that while life seems to be spiraling out of control, it is never out of God’s control. Choosing joy is remaining mindful that while my circumstances may feel anything but ideal, God still has my good and His glory in mind.

Because like Sara said, “It’s not about me. It’s about what He can do with my life.” That statement holds the very essence of her lifestyle of choosing joy...

Sara lived her life by six simple goals she set for herself. She had these scribbled on her wall in that amazingly beautiful handwriting of hers. But more importantly, she had them scribbled deeply on her heart. She set out to do six things with her life:

1. To not be ashamed to stand before God.
2. To fulfill God’s plan by living the best life I can with what I am given.
3. To be aware and present in every moment.
4. To love what I have and not yearn for what I lack.
5. To spread the joy, not the fear.
6. To be intentional in all things.

I read that list, and I can’t help but smile. Even through the tears. Sara so faithfully lived out each one of those things. And we would do well to make these goals our own.

Sara lived well.

She loved well.

She finished well.

And she taught us to do the same.

I love you always and always, Fritz...

Choose Joy

Two simple words made beautiful and significant by the life and death of my friend Sara: Choose joy.

Sara, our sweet GitzenGirl, was sick all the years I knew her. She had a confusing, complicated illness called Ankylosing Spondylitis that fused her spine (and other bones and joints) together. She had a rare form of the disease that progressed more severely and rapidly than usual, leaving her with very limited mobility and unspeakable amounts of pain.

Sara also developed a score of other illnesses and complications that left her with severe allergies. She was — get this — even allergic to the air. So Sara couldn’t go outside. She lived in her tiny Iowan condo with an air filtration system. She could never open a window or step out the door. She was completely homebound for over three years.

Yet — and I don’t say this lightly — Sara was the most joyful and Christ-like person I’ve ever known.

I don’t mean that she was saintly, at least not in the typical understanding of the word. She had a wicked sense of humor and was known among her close friends for her amazing potty mouth. That girl could curse like none other! Heh. But still… she showed me Christ every single day.

Sara reached beyond the confines of her illness, the walls of her condo, and the state of being homebound, and grabbed hold of community where she could: the internet.

Cut off from the world, suddenly the world was at her fingertips.

She connected with literally thousands of people around the globe through Twitter and blogging. Her voice was one of strength, trust, faith, and joy in the face of unimaginable circumstances.

Sara’s life mantra was Choose Joy. It wasn’t merely a platitude she spoke to make herself feel better; it truly shaped how she lived her life. And it spilled over onto the thousands of people who got to know her heart through her words.

When the end was close and hospice was called in, friends bombarded Twitter with prayers for Sara. The hashtag #ChooseJoy spread like a wildfire, tying untold hearts together from all corners of the world… united in prayer and grief for our friend but also in the faith-filled resolve to continue her legacy. To choose joy even in spite of the heartache.

Sara went Home on September 24, 2011.

Friends from near and far traveled to her Iowan home for funeral and memorial services. Tribute blog posts flooded the blogosphere. Many got Choose Joy tattoos in Sara’s own handwriting. And the #ChooseJoy hashtag still continues strong on Twitter.

What a life.

What a legacy.

What a gift that I got to call her friend.

So today… Today I will choose joy.

My eulogy for Sara: Choose Joy >

Memorial Service for Sara

Tonight is the memorial service for our beloved Sara at St. Stephens---the church in Cedar Falls, IA where she served for so many years. We would love to have you join us as we mourn her passing and celebrate her life---together as her community and family, each in our own corner of the world.

Just as Sara would have loved it.

The service is at 6:30 PM Central Time. Please join us if you're able. (And help spread the word online...)

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Update: The memorial service was recorded... Watch here.

Choose Joy Ink Link

This is a space where you can share your Tribute to Sara Tattoo for all to see... If you decided to get a Choose Joy tattoo, we would love to see it! Please link up to the tweet, blog, pic, or video you post on the Interwebz about it, so we can all celebrate Sara's life and legacy together.

[Be sure to link to the specific post and not your blog homepage.]

If you have chosen to use any of the Choose Joy designs, please email Trevor and let him know. He worked into the wee-hours of the night doing this for Sara. Such a gift. I think it would mean a lot for him to hear and see what became of it all...

I'm grateful for my reminder. God knows I need it...