one: left

You know that revolving door I'm always talking about? It's going around again this morning as we say goodbye to our interns (who've been with us since January). One is staying behind for a few extra weeks but the rest are boarding a plane this evening and flying home.

After our week of debriefing together, I'm confident that this year in Africa changed each of them. And after watching them engage in ministry for a year, I'm also confident that they changed Africa. They've each left their mark, their footprint. And Africa will never be the same.

Neither will I.

price tag

Last night we wrapped up debriefing with a time of worship and prayer. I really have no words that can capture my heart, except for these: The sweetness of that moment as we shared hearts, prayed over the interns, and worshiped together for probably the last time this side of heaven... You simply can't put a price tag on that.

love/hate relationship

I have a love/hate relationship with asking boomerang questions. You know the kind: questions that invoke open criticism of yourself. We just finished up the debriefing session that is always the hardest for me. We gave the interns time to share any suggestions they have for improving the program.  We told them we wouldn't defend ourselves or even explain why things were done the way they were (unless we felt it was absolutely imperative ). So the interns had full permission to just say what they disliked about their year.

I love it and I hate it all at the same time.

I love it because I always want to get better at what we do. I want next year's interns to have an even greater experience than this year's. I want to learn from our mistakes and make things more effective as we go forward. I also just love giving someone the "ok", and making them feel comfortable enough, to share this level of honest feedback.

I hate it because it's hard to hear that sort of honesty about how I've failed. It's difficult to not defend or explain myself, but to simply listen for the issue that underlies what's actually being said. I hate it because I find it so hard not to take this kind of criticism personally.

In the long-run, I know that this morning's challenging conversation will lead to an improved internship program. This is the sort of thing that makes me a better leader. Even if I hate it while I love it.

What do you have a love/hate relationship with?

like an iceberg

What's the most significant thing God did in you this year? That's what we asked the interns tonight. We didn't want to hear about what He did through them or how He used them to impact others. We wanted to hear what He did inside them. And we heard some incredible answers:

I found who I am in Christ. I moved from Christianity to an intimate relationship with God. I realized I am worth something to Him. I came to terms with stuff from my past and realized God's redemptive power.

Wonderful things. And yet, Niel told the interns he wasn't satisfied with their responses.

He challenged them to go deeper. We had the sense that though they were honest, they'd remained very surfacey. They didn't share with openness and transparency, and if they couldn't do that in this community of people, how could they expect to do so with people back home...

We talked some more, and then we opened the floor. We invited anyone who wanted to, to answer the question again. Tears flowed down my cheeks as many of them shared their fears, insecurities, doubts, and weaknesses. In complete and utter honesty they told us the specifics of how God had changed them---how He's continuing to change them. It was such a holy moment.

So I want to leave you with the same question. You're welcome to leave your answer in the comments. (I love when God chooses to use this platform for us to learn from each other and encourage one another's walk.)  If you'd rather not share your response here, I totally understand and respect that. Making time to still answer the question for yourself would definitely be worthwhile.

What's the most significant thing God did in you this year?

totally worth it

Driving for 16 hours---as the one actually behind the wheel, which I'm only clarifying because any of my passengers could justifiably say the same phrase---Anyway... Let me start over. Driving for 16 hours was totally worth it. Especially each time we laughed long and loud over goofy shenanigans in our car. And when we came up over that hill and there before us was the most exquisite vineyard-laced valley. And when we emerged from the long tunnel to see our first glimpse of Cape Town. And when we drove by Table Mountain, blanketed by a huge cloud.

Yeah, driving for 16 hours was totally worth it. Especially when the interns opened their hearts to us---and each other---in our first debriefing session this morning. And when they were still discussing Nehemiah 6:3 later in the day. And when we walked along the pier that juts into the white-capped ocean this afternoon.

Driving for 16 hours was totally worth it. Especially when Niel and I went out to dinner with some older missionary friends this evening and he had to explain his God-awful haircut. That was worth the price of admission right there!