my kids

I scooped up Nkosi as soon as I saw him. (He's "my" little two-year-old at the local orphanage.) I was relieved to find him much healthier than he'd been. As I held him in my arms, I prayed and spoke blessings over him. Nkosi's name means "Little Warrior", and that's a promise I love to remind him of. I got to do Peaberry's bedtime routine with her. While she was heavier in my arms than the last time I rocked her, she still fit perfectly. I sang my go-to song for her, snuggled her close, and whispered sweet nothings everythings to her. She is more beautiful than ever, and I love her more than I could possibly explain.

I had a play-doh date with my Siloh. We sat on the floor making penguins and pancakes, and though he's grown up a lot, it felt like no time at all had passed. "I missed you so much," I told him again. He looked up at me and whispered his reply: "I was at work." I couldn't help but laugh as my heart melted even more.

Dang.

I really missed my kids in Africa...

i hate being cold

I'm Africa-bound today. And hoping I can sleep through most of the 15-hour flight. As usual. I'm not sure yet how much I'll be able to blog while I'm there. I've got a few posts scheduled to go up this week, but beyond that... I don't know. I'm gonna try to still post as often as usual, but ... no guarantees. It depends on a lot. Like if I'll even have internet. Or power.

Or if my fingers are too cold to type.

Because I'm leaving the summery sunshine to go back to winter. And if you have doubts, believe me it gets cold where I live in South Africa. We get snow. And we have no indoor heating.

Here's to seeing my breath in my bedroom when I wake up in the mornings!

Ugh.

I hate being cold.

But rest assured. If I have power and internet and non-frozen appendages, I'll be blogging.

Oh! And please add warm weather to your prayer list!

[If you haven't yet, let me know what you've chosen as your prayer prompter. Then when I see/do/think about those same things, I'll be reminded of how you've come to Africa with me through your prayers.]

my corner is full

"I told you a long time ago that we'd support you every month you're in ministry. I still mean it." Jim and Debbie have been supporting me monthly since 1996. That's a whole lot of checks. That's a whole lot of money. That's a whole lot of love.

And even though I'm not in active ministry right now, they are continuing their support of Thrive (my ministry in Africa).

My eyes filled with tears when he spoke those words to me at lunch today. And they're filling again now as I write about it.

I get overwhelmed when I look around and see all the people who are standing with me in my corner. I am so, so grateful.

Thank you. All of you.

i choose hard

I only pretend to be brave. I've been known to say that. A lot. But a friend helped me see how untrue that really is.

For as long as I can remember, I've desired to follow God courageously. While I've never been very self-assured or confident, I've often made decisions that fly in the face of all logic. I've chosen not to play it safe.

I've always known that God's called me to hard. I knew it when this suburban girl spent two months in rural Africa as a teenager and loved it. I knew it when my passion to return there seemed illogical to everyone else. I don't like extreme temperatures, bugs, or even the outdoors... and yet I wanted to live in Africa!? It didn't make sense; it still doesn't.

My own pastor told me that being a missionary was the worst thing I could do with my life. And yet, at 19, I up and moved to Africa. I've been told over and over again that I'm too young, not educated enough, lacking experience. But I've shrugged it off and just kept right on going.

I've chosen hard over safe.

And if that's not brave, I don't know what is.

I don't say that to pat myself on the back. I say it simply to acknowledge the truth that I've exhibited more courage than I ever realized.

I needed to discover that about myself. Because as difficult as this past season has been for me, this next one isn't going to be any easier. And seeing past courage more clearly helps steel my heart for what lies ahead.

Once again, I choose hard.

And even though I still don't feel brave, I'm gonna do it afraid.

And trust that He will be faithful to carry me through it.

Just like He always has.

mentorship

Mentor and mentorship seem to be real buzz words right now. But I'm not sure I really know what they even mean. I understand them in theory, but not in practice. I've never had a mentor.

Many leaders who've earned my respect and admiration have poured into me---some I know personally and some I don't. I love learning, so I often seek out opportunities to glean from others---by asking questions, by simply observing, by engaging in open dialogue. But never in a formal "will you be my mentor" kind of way. And I don't know that I've ever had someone take me under their wing by their own initiative either. But that could be just my fuzzy brain talking.

While I desire to be a leader who's quick to notice and develop potential in others, I don't know that I can honestly say I've mentored anyone. There are many I've intentionally poured myself into. But because it wasn't specifically asked for or labeled "mentorship", can I really say I was mentoring them? If my mentee (don't know what else to call 'em!) doesn't say I'm their mentor, does it still count? I don't know.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to answer any or all of my Qs---

• What does mentorship mean to you?
• Do you have a mentor?
• What does that look like? How formal or informal is it?
• How did you find/get your mentors?
• Are you a mentor? To whom?
• What does that look like? How formal or informal is it?
• How did you find/get your mentees?