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girlfriends with semi-colons
From the moment I hugged Mandy (accosted her is more like it) and got shoved by Cathi, they felt familiar and comfortable. We were all trembling from the nervousexcitement of meeting friends for the first time; we were literally shaking and out of breath. It was pure wonderful from the very first second. There was not a single moment of awkwardness.
We found ourselves saying the same thing at the same time and finishing each others' sentences. Even though we are at very different places in our lives, we share more common ground than I ever realized. My heart felt known and understood.
I've always watched with envy movies that depict a group of girlfriends. While I have closeness with a small group of friends, it's only ever been as one-on-one friendships. I've never had that same level of intimacy and authenticity with more than one person at a time. So I wasn't sure how that would play out this past weekend.
I feared feeling like a third wheel. I was scared that being the "quiet one" of the three would make me feel isolated. I thought my feelings of inferiority from not being in the academic world like the other two, would leave me feeling stupid and unloved. All of my fears were unfounded.
Now as I think about those movie scenes that I've always viewed with jealousy and pangs of longing, I can't help but smile. It is possible. I've felt it, experienced it, held onto it with my own two hands. Sadly, I had to leave it behind.
But I know that our time together didn't end with a period. No closure, no termination. It ended with a semi-colon; there's more to come.
essentially it's the non-essentials
We made sure we hit all the essentials during our reunion. We talked about how we got saved, how we met our husbands, how we got into ministry. I loved those conversations and learned so much about my friends through their stories. But I loved talking about the non-essentials even more.
The essentials, though wonderfully insightful, are things that anyone would/could know. They're the commonly asked questions and commonly told stories. But the non-essentials, that you can't plan for or script, are what make friendships so great.
I think the more non-essentials I know about someone, the closer I feel to them. When I had to say goodbye to Mandy and Cathi, I felt like I was saying goodbye to old, close friends. We shared a lot of non-essentials. And I loved every minute of it.
What non-essentials do you want to know about me? (Feel free to ask me questions and I'll reply in the comments.)
three a.m. craziness
The last night of our reunion weekend, we------ Hold on. We interrupt this broadcast for an explanation. I know Mandy, Cathi, and I had never met before. But we were already friends, really and truly. And seeing each other felt like coming home. So in my heart it seemed way more like a reunion than a first-time meeting. Okay, back to what I was saying...
The last night of our reunion weekend, we pulled an almost-all-nighter. This is what we were doing around three a.m.
chicken soup for the soul
A missionary, a worship leader, and a church planter walk into a bar together. Sounds like the start of a great joke, doesn't it? Actually, it was the end of a great weekend.
I feel like my heart is brimming with things to say, and yet I can't seem to find any suitable words. I wanted to take notes during the past four days, just jot things down as they happened so that I wouldn't forget a thing. But I intentionally made myself not do that.
I didn't want to experience things through the filter of how I'd write about them on my blog.
I know I've missed out on the full wonders of sunsets and elephant sightings and carefree African children playing in the street because I've watched them through my camera's viewfinder. So this weekend I chose to set down my "camera"---my cognitive attempt to hold onto memories, put adequate words to them, and help someone else see what I see. I chose instead to just be there. To soak the weekend in, for me rather than for someone else.
My heart is full, my eyes are heavy, and my mind is stewing a myriad of thoughts. My life won't ever be the same.